Discretion is a matter of honour - (almost) hot-off-the-press personals from the newspaper portal

Our Newspaper portal has been online since October 2021 - 247 historical newspapers, over 600,000 issues, and 4.5 million newspaper pages can currently be searched - covering a period of almost three centuries. The oldest contact ad we found in the newspaper portal is from the "Düsseldorfer Volksblatt" (Düsseldorfs Folk paper) of Friday, 6 July 1877, the most recent from the New York News Bulletin from the German-Jewish Club Inc. "Composition: an American weekly" of Friday, December 29, 1950. Our search term? "For marriage..."

"Marriage request. An ambitious man, Catholic, in his 30s, owner of a brewery, bakery, and inn in the countryside, who lacks female acquaintances, is looking for a partner. Marriage-seeking girls with some wealth please contact... Discretion is a matter of honour.”

Most ads are about marriage, of course, but also about looks, religion, and as is so often the case, money. Financial circumstances are already clarified in the newspaper application. Photos are welcomed - anonymous requests? Pointless. Discretion? That's a matter of honour!

Searched for in the late 19th century/early 20th century by people from a wide range of social backgrounds. There is the "head waiter, 27 years old, of pleasant appearance", who seeks "the acquaintance of a young lady with wealth". "Widow not excluded... Discretion is a matter of honour." (Third display on the left)

There is the rather reserved advertisement of a woman who asks: "Would there be a man of character (Jew), whose position would permit and be agreeable to him, to marry a simple and domestically educated Jewess, pretty, blond, of good family, single, with mutual inclination to marry?" (Second display on the right).

There is the rather brash approach of a 36-year-old merchant, "Protestant with a fine special business in Rhenish Prussia", who wishes to marry "as soon as possible a very rich, independent lady" (last display on the right-hand side). And there are those who smell big business: the marriage agencies. "For the purpose of marriage, applications for 1000 ladies with assets of 1000 to millions have been noted. Aristocracy, officers, landowners, civil servants, industrialists and businessmen... turn with confidence to the Intervention Bureau Eugen Nagy, Budapest, which has existed for 16 years...".

"Companionship with distinguished gentleman, 45-55, seeks lady of pleasant appearance, of good family, who is not interested in material provision, for the purpose of later marriage" reads the third advertisement on the left. In the right column, a "Director, freethinker, self-advertiser, pleasant appearance, 1.72 m, 40 years old, value property 350 000.-, from which fixed income without business monthly 2000.-, desires inclination marriage. ... Discretion is a matter of honour."

Even during the war years there was a lot of searching. The timeline shows the most advertisements in the newspaper portal's inventory for the year 1943: over 1,700 hits in this year alone.

What changed in the advertisements after the Second World War was not only the font (no more Fraktur-a typical german calligraphic hand blackletter type), but also the complete omission of the phrase "Discretion is a matter of honour". What does not change, however, is the disclosure of financial circumstances. However, while the advertisements of the 1920s and 1930s still mentioned concrete figures, after 1945 marriage seekers shifted to emphasising their financial independence.

In "Aufbau: an American weekly", the requests for the late 1940s and early 1950s are numerous, and at least one gentleman knows very well who he is looking for and who he is not: "If you are a charming woman of fine character, tact and poise, very good-looking, fairly slender, with a warm and open heart, having ideals and interests, loving fine arts, cooperative and well balanced, not over 43 (?) and not under 5.5 ftt., and if you are able to love and want to enjoy a congenial husband, please write fully and with full confidence… I am of fine German-Jewish background, not wealthy but with profession and ambition and I want to get married again." (First advertisement top left) We hope that all those wishing to marry have been successful in their search.

Finally, a not entirely serious contact advertisement from the "Blättern für Scherz und Ernst"(paper for jokes and serious), which had already taken up the subject in 1854.

„Marriage request. A young man is looking for a partner in this now no longer unusual way. Must be young and of extraordinary beauty, and provide written evidence that she is fluent in her ABCs and cannot easily mistake an 'Ä' for a 'U'. The seeker will not do it for less than 2000 pounds pension a year; twice that amount would be as dear to him again. The young man can smoke, make his own coffee and play whist; has his money, knows, if he is quite sober, exactly how to distinguish between a louisdor and a four-shilling piece. He finds himself forced to take the public path, not because he lacks lady acquaintances - God forbid! he knows half the city - but because all those ladies whose favour and hand he sought gave him an answer, which it would not suit his purpose to communicate here. The strictest confidentiality is assured. Any offers are requested at the address: "Bummler 1ster Klasse.“

Read historcal personals? All 38.000 results in the German Newspaper Portal

Sources

Deutschlandfunk Kultur https://www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/er-sucht-sie-sie-sucht-ihn-102.html (German)

Wikipedia https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kontaktanzeige (German)